well my life was going great for a few days and then it made a sudden turn. Why do I feel like I can't stand up for myself? Am I that much of a pussy that I can't even stand up. I don't understand why I am going through this stage in my life. Maybe I need to get away from this town for a little while. But I have no where to go no one to go with. In a way I just want to take a random trip by myself to go to Illinois. I want to be able to put some flowers on my dad's grave. I know that sounds really bad but I miss him and it has recently been part of the problem. I think I am now starting to realize what I have been missing the past couple of years. I have been missing a chance to share my opinion and do my own thing. Im an idiot I just realized I let people run all over me. I let people know my weakness right off the bat. Well not anymore. Im tired of it all. Im tired of feeling this way. So Fuck feeling shitty all the time. Im gonna be happy and crazy. Im gonna be a different person in a way. Im still me and still stubbs haha but im the NEW Stubbs. Im not taking anyones shit anymore. Im not letting myself get hurt anymore. Im gonna do something about it. Im gonna make a difference and if you don't like it then don't talk to me haha. Well damn I feel so much better for spilling all that shit out. Fuck everyone who has ever made me feel like shit. I will show them that I am the better person. (Kara knows exactly what I am talking about haha.) Anyways Im going running talk to you later.